Relationship Coaching
It’s exhausting to have the same fight over and over.
I’ll help you start a new conversation.
In every relationship, the common denominator is you.
So whether you stay in your current relationship or find a new partner, many of the same dynamics will keep showing up.
You can try to change your partner (which is disempowering and frustrating) or get curious and ask: “How am I contributing to this dynamic? What am I willing to change?”
The good news is that the skills you’ll learn in relationship coaching are transferable and long-lasting. When you show up with healthy boundaries, impeccable communication and deep compassion (for you and the other person), defences soften, and true connection is possible.
As your coach, I help you get to the root of your relationship challenges, whether you’re single or partnered.
What is relationship coaching?
Based on research from the Gottman Institute, this program is designed to help you solve your solvable problems and find a new way to navigate perpetual problems.
Perpetual problems stem from differences in values and personality. For example, one person prioritizes freedom and fun, and the other craves stability and routine. This core difference is unlikely to change (sorry to be the bearer of bad news!), but if you understand the motivation behind these needs, you can have more empathy. From there, it’s easier to find a compromise that honours both of your values.
If you think, “We fight about the stupidest things!” or “It’s so easy to put the dishes into the dishwasher, why won’t they just do it?!?”, relationship coaching can help you uncover what you’re actually fighting about. We’ll address the thing under the thing.
You’ll learn scientifically proven techniques for navigating conflict, including the power of repair attempts, a gentle startup, and accepting influence.
Relationship coaching is time-limited (8 sessions) and future-focused - we won’t spend hours and hours rehashing the past! The goal is to help you reconnect and remember why you chose your partner in the first place.
About Me
I’ve been fascinated by relationships and sexuality since I was a teenager. I eagerly awaited Dan Savage’s advice column and never missed an episode of the Sunday Night Sex Show. Friends would come to me for advice on dating, birth control, and sexual orientation. They knew they could trust me with their secrets.
At 23, I opened a women’s reproductive and sexual health store with my sister (Red Tent Sisters) and spent years supporting customers with every imaginable “taboo” topic.
Trust me: you won’t shock me. I’ve heard it all.
I’m a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach and a counsellor-in-training specializing in relationships. Many of my clients have stories of talking to their therapist about sex and being met with ignorance or, worse, judgment. When I was looking for a couple’s counsellor, I had the same experience. That’s why I’m passionate about creating a space where you can share your desires and insecurities with an empathetic, knowledgeable coach.
If you’d like to connect, I also offer a free sample session so you can get to know me before we work together.
TRAINING & CERTIFICATIONS
My Values
I know how important it is to choose a coach whose values align with yours. To help you determine if I’m the right fit, here are the qualities I bring to every client session:
Openness
A customer once told me I talk about dildos like I’m talking about a toothbrush. Putting people at ease is my superpower.
Depth
I love to learn and discover new perspectives. I believe in nuance and the idea that two things can be true.
Empathy
More than anything, I want you to know that you are not alone. I’ll walk alongside you, not in front. We’re in this together.
Respect
I will share ideas when I believe they may be of service, but I won’t tell you what to do. I will honour your autonomy.
Evidence Based
My approach draws on established methodologies from the Gottman Institute and Co-Active Training Institute.
Non-Judgemental
Whether you share a sexual fantasy or disclose your infidelity, you will be met with compassion and understanding.
Sex
Positive
I have been a sex educator for over 15 years. I’m kink-aware and well-versed in issues relating to libido and desire.
Polyamory
Affirmative
I have experience working with folks engaged in ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships.
“The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships.”
— Esther Perel
How It Works
All packages include eight coaching sessions & customized resources delivered over the course of four months. I will always tailor the format and approach to fit your needs and relationship status, but here is what you can expect from our work together.
Planning
We’ll start with a free sample session to determine if we’re a good match. If it’s a YES, you’ll fill out an in-depth intake form. I’ll use those answers to cater the program to your relationship needs.
Coaching
We’ll meet for eight (60 minute) coaching sessions via Zoom. Topics will vary, but will likely include: boundaries, communication & attachment. Day and evening appointments are available.
Resources
I’ll provide exercises for you to try between sessions. However, the time commitment will be minimal. If you enjoy reading and podcasts, I’ll offer additional recommendations to support your learning.
Email Support
We’ll be connecting every two weeks for a Zoom session, but if you need support in between, I’m here for you. Questions will be answered with an email, voice note, or video.
Whether you want to celebrate a win, ask a question, or need a little encouragement, I’ll be in your corner.
FAQs
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Absolutely! I offer all potential clients a 30-minute sample session before any commitments are made. We both need to be 100% confident this is the right fit.
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If you are unsure what support you need, I encourage you to book a sample session. I am happy to provide recommendations. Please note that coaches are not trained to address issues around addiction, trauma, chronic depression or anxiety, or other mental health challenges. If you are experiencing any of the above, please seek the support of a mental health professional.
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As Harriet Lerner writes in The Dance of Anger: “We cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same predictable pattern.”
Ideally, both partners participate in coaching. However, even if you engage in this work without your partner, you’ll still see changes in the relationship.
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I hear you! One of my pet peeves is the pervasive heteronormativity and focus on marriage within the counselling and self-help world. I try to “repackage” frameworks to make them inclusive and more widely applicable. For example, I appreciate the concept of the Five Love Languages, but the authors use problematic, outdated examples in their work. I’ll help you find the useful nuggets and ditch the rest.
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Absolutely! Being single is a powerful opportunity to learn about yourself and explore different partnership possibilities. So often, we fall into relationships and never ask, “Is this really what I want?” Think how much time, effort, and heartbreak you’ll save if you have clarity before you start a new relationship.
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In my experience, this work is ineffective with just one session. It takes time to dig below the surface and create sustained change.
I offer single sample sessions to give you a sense of my coaching style, and I’ll provide recommendations regardless of whether we pursue working together.
Investment
Eight 60-minute coaching sessions (two per month)
Four-month commitment
Customized homework and resources
Guidance from a 7 Principles Leader
$350/month
Plus applicable taxes, charged in CAD.
Inquire about sliding scale.
